Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Accused: What’s the bad news?
Lawyer: The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.
Accused: What’s the good news?
Lawyer: Your cholesterol is 130.
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Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense itching in my eye.
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon from the glass before drinking
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A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire.
And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend. The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
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A man noticed that his credit card had been stolen but did not report it.
The thief was spending less then his wife.
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Patient: I saw the doctor to day about my loss of memory.
Friend: What did he do?
Patient: He made me pay his consulting fee in advance.
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Patient: Tell me how I can repay you for all your kindness.
Doctor: You can pay by cash, cheque or direct bank transfer
